After The Virus Takes Hold
by katyfaise
Summary: Short takes on how Roger, Mimi, Collins, and Angel all got AIDS.
1. Roger

**AN- Okay, these are going to be a short series of stories on how Roger, Mimi, Collins and Angel (and maybe April) all got AIDS. And listen, if you don't like my take on how they got AIDS then just deal with it, okay? This is what I think. I mean, everyone thinks differently. Just review and let me know in a KIND comment. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. It's Roger. Next up is either Mimi or Collins. I haven't decided yet. Let me know who you want to see next. Your opinion matters a lot.**

**Disclaimer- RENT does not belong to me.**

* * *

I never thought I'd end up with a disease that's going to end my life. I mean, I never though I'd live to be seventy or anything, but I didn't think I'd have to live with a disease that wouldn't let me get married or have a family. I guess, that's what you get for living a life like I did. I was never smart. I was never a good kid. I never listened to my parents or my teachers. Volunteering wasn't my thing. I barely graduated. I was a junkie. And now look at me. I'm going to waste away and have to have someone to take care of me for the rest of my life.

I've got AIDS.

It was the drugs that led to this. I guess I have to accept that. I never really did drugs through high school but Mark will tell you that I have an addictive personality. Mark likes to pretend he's a shrink sometimes. Anyway, I didn't start the drugs by myself. I probably wouldn't have either. But at the time, I was performing every night and I had a girlfriend who I was madly in love with. April. She was my everything at one time.

I didn't even care that she had her problems either. I loved her too much.

Well, maybe if I really loved her, I would've cared.

I would just sit around whenever she'd shoot up. I'd play my guitar while she enjoyed her high and had her crazy moments. But it didn't take long for her to rope me into her rituals.

I remember exactly how it happened. I got curious and asked her how the high felt. She offered me her needle. I accepted.

It was the worst decision I ever made because after that night, I was hooked.

We kept on with the drugs, even though Mark and Collins told us not to. They warned and warned, but I never listened. I ignored my friends, the ones who cared about me. But then again, drugs make you do that. All I cared about was April, and the dope.

You know, everything was fine until I found her in the bathroom. We'd had a fight and I'd went out. When I got back there she was, in the bathtub. She'd split her wrists and left me a simple note.

'We've got AIDS. April.'

The image didn't leave me for months.

The stained yellow paper is still under my mattress, although if Mimi ever finds it I'm sure she'd be just a little freaked out. I'm not sure I can throw it away. I've tried but I always go back for the paper, smooth out the wrinkles and put it back in it's spot. It just can't be done.

Mark's going to have to take care of me forever because of these stupid mistakes I made. God's punishing the both of us I guess. I'm never going to be truly happy with what I've been given.

I've got a best friend who's going to live, a woman I love who's going to die before me, and a disease that's going to eat away at the three of us like a parasite.

That's what AIDS does to you.


	2. Mimi

**AN- Hiiii. Hope you like this chapter as much as you liked the first. I think I got Mimi okay. She isn't as OOC as Roger seemed to me. Uh.. yeah, that's basically all. And yes, I do know the difference between 'split' and 'slit' if you caught that in the last chapter. I just.. I don't know. I thought that if Roger was actually telling that to someone, he would say 'split', instead of 'slit'. So, you know, if that explains it any.**

**Disclaimer- I don't own RENT. I wish I did. That way I could make it not close.**

* * *

If my mother knew the real me now, she would probably say that I'm a terrible person. But.. honestly, I don't care. Everything I've done, I've done for a reason. I became a stripped because I needed money. I knocked on the rocker's door because I needed a light for my drugs. I slept with my dealer because I needed the drugs. The last thing, well that wasn't my smartest moment. I haven't had many smart moments.

Sleeping with the dealer is what put the death sentence on me.

I was only eighteen. I'd been in the city for about a year. And I'd been on the drugs for a few months. At the time, I was living with Angel. I didn't have to worry about rent, or about any bills. Hell, she gave me clothes to wear. I'm sure that if I asked her, she would've bought the drugs for me. I couldn't do that. As much as she tried to get me to quit, I just couldn't throw that right into her face.

I shot up for the first time after leaving a party. I was with some people who I thought were my friends. If they were my friends, I'm sure they wouldn't have got me hooked in the first place. After that first hit, I was in love with the drugs. I was one of the smart ones though. I used clean needles. I had no intentions of getting a disease and ruining my life.

Intentions didn't matter though.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I didn't have any money, and I was aching for a hit. I couldn't ask Angel. I had been promising her that I would quit. I just couldn't tell her the truth. So instead of trying to borrow money from anyone else, I slept with him, the man I bought my drugs from.

It was the most stupid thing I've ever done.

I don't even remember how I convinced myself to get tested. Maybe it was God giving me a warning or something. I mean, I was already too far gone. I don't know why he would interfere. Even though I don't remember why I got tested, I do remember my reaction. As soon as I got the results, I shut down. I stayed locked in my room for at least two weeks. My life was over. I was only eighteen and I had AIDS.

The man who provided me with the ultimate high, the only thing I enjoyed, had ruined it so easily.

It took Angel's words at my door to get me out to eat finally. I remember them clearly.

"Honey, you can't stay in there for the rest of your life. You've got to forget your regrets, you know that. Live today like it's your last. It could be.. No day but today, sweetie."

That's my mantra now. No day but today.

And you know, I'm not even scared. I'm not scared that I'll waste away and I'll lose all bodily control one day. The only fear I do have.. is not living while I've got time.


	3. Angel

**AN- This is the shortest, but I didn't think it needed to be any longer than it is. Anyway, this chapter will probably be controversial. But honestly, this is how I think Angel got AIDS. If you don't, please, don't flame me. Just, don't review it, okay? If you've nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. And this is placed like.. right about the time when Angel gets really sick. Around, 'Without You'. That explains the ending. So there shouldn't be any confusion there.**

**Disclaimer- I don't own RENT.**

* * *

I'm not a hypocrite. I'm really not. Sometimes, when I think about what I've done with my life, I'm usually happy. My life is about as good as it's going to get. I mean, I've got some great friends, people who love me..I have a roof over my head, food to eat.

AIDS is just one of those things I've got to live with. But believe me. I'll live with it.

Like I said, I'm not a hypocrite. But every single time I tell Mimi to lay off the drugs, I cringe. Not because of what she's doing, but because of what I've done.

I've got AIDS because of one prick. One thing that I just wanted to try.

I went out and found the man that I knew dealt Mimi her drugs regularly. I remember thinking that he was nice because he even gave me a syringe.

I wasn't stupid. I knew what would happen if I got in too deep. I would end up like Mimi. Hooked on drugs and barely even an adult. I didn't know if I could handle that. Besides, I just wanted to try it once. She always made the high seem so much fun.

I can't believe that for one time, I let my mind slip from me.

The high wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. I felt sick, dizzy. I could barely move. Maybe the heroin and my body just didn't agree. That was the first and last time I ever tried drugs.

But it only takes one time.

I found out that I was positive on a regular doctor visit. I had a cough, since it was cold outside. I didn't even cry when he told me I was positive. I was so numb. I didn't even know what to feel.

I went to a park and ate an ice cream cone afterwards. How was I supposed to dwell on the fact that I would eventually die. I got over it. Just like I would get over everything else.

Collins is the only person who knows how I got AIDS. He's the only person who I trusted enough to tell. And he'll be the only person who ever saw my tears.

It was the biggest disappointment of my life. But maybe it was for the best. Now, I've got a meaning. I'm going to get Mimi off drugs. I'm going to make sure Roger's white ass doesn't leave. I'm going to get Maureen and Joanne back together. And I'm going to make sure Collins is happy for the rest of his life, even if mine is shorter than his.


	4. Collins

**AN- Wow. Collins was the shortest but you know.. there was just nothing to write. Sweet, short and to the point. And I hope you all like it. So my story is over. I don't think I'm going to do April unless you really, really want to see it. If you want me to do a chapter with April, please, let me know. I'll be more than happy to do it.. I just don't think I'm going to do it on my own accord.**

**Disclaimer- I don't own RENT. I wish I did though.**

* * *

I am a strong person. I believe that. I also believe that you have to be a strong person to deal with whatever you're going through. But I have to say that I am a bona fide pessimist. I always have been and always well be. Not even having the love of my life be a bowl of sunshine has changed me.

When you've got a deadly disease, one that can and will kill you, another belief of mine is you have every right to be a pessimist.

I knew that I was a homosexual when I was a teenager. It was just something that I knew. I was accepted by my mother. I always felt lucky because of that.

I never had many boyfriends through high school. It wasn't until I got to college did I meet the man of my dreams.

His name was Charlie. And for once in my life, I was in love.

Our relationship lasted for my whole freshman year of college. I was young, and in love. I didn't care that he was a a junior and only had one more year left in college.

I remember the night that it happened. We'd went out to a party with friends and I admit, we'd gotten a little drunk. When we got back to his apartment, it was like a snowball. It just sort of happened.

It wasn't the first time I'd had sex, but it was probably the best. And it was with someone I loved.

How was I supposed to know that someone I loved would never tell me that they were infected.

It took him a couple of weeks to actually tell me the truth. When he did, it took me even longer to go and get a test. I couldn't believe that a person who said they loved me would basically give me a death sentence. I would have figured he could've at least told me. But he didn't even do that.

After I found out I was positive, he was the first person I told. It didn't take long for him to up and leave. I found out he'd transferred schools. It was the most heartbreaking experience in my life.

I dropped out of school after that and went back to live with my mother. She helped me through everything I was experiencing. I eventually finished college a few years later.

And I eventually met the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

I may still believe that I have every right to be a pessimist but you know, I enjoy my little ball of sunshine. She does manage to keep a smile on my pessimistic face.


End file.
